I spent most of the day sleeping. Trying to recover from last night. My brain just needed to shut my feelings down for a while. My friends on the message board were very worried about me. They and all of you are the best.

But I do need to rely on somebody in my "real life" to talk to as well. I have my therapy appt. this coming week and I will talk to her about an emergency number. I'm hoping that I can keep myself in check enough to not let my feelings get that out of control again. But you don't always feel it coming. It just goes to show that meds aren't everything, that therapy has to be done too. And since I missed my last one, that surely didn't help things.

In the early evening I went to the grocery store and I also went to pick up some videos. Right now I'm watching "Hannibal Rising". It's a bit bloody so far but it's an interesting and well photographed film. I'm just the restless sort who sometimes has trouble sitting still through a whole movie without popping onto the computer.

I had thought about going out again tonight, not drinking but still going out. This time it would've been to this shindig at another club that happens once every other month. It's called Purgatory. A lot of people from the karaoke bar go to it and it's supposed to be this big goth/industrial/fetish extravaganza. I've never been but one day I probably will go. But tonight I think I just needed to stay in. Tomorrow night I will be going out for trivia at the bar but right before that they're showing the finale of "The Sopranos".

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