The only true freedom is freedom from your heart's desires [ 2010-08-11, 3:08 a.m. ]

I am so sick of worrying about money. Second night in a row of sobbing in bed when I should be sleeping because I am so worried. I feel helpless. I know there are some things I could be doing but then I stay up late because I don't want to face reality and then I sleep in and end up doing nothing. It's a vicious cycle.

I did do one thing today. Actually two. I went and had coffee with Brenda and we chatted for a long time. Went to her house, which I had never been to, strangely enough. Her two little daughters are a handful but they were pretty good. After a long visit, I left and managed to leave a few Avon brochures at some places. I need to do that everyday.

My car insurance payment is coming up on the 15th and I have no way to pay for it. I dread asking my mom because money is one thing where she's not the easiest to ask. I feel so small and hate having to ask. I wish she would understand that. I have to get a job soon. I can't take this shit anymore.

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