I want my vacation back [ 2004-02-03, 1:24 a.m. ]

My first day back from vacation. And I want to leave again. I don't know how much longer I can stay without going crazy. I'm not so much sick of the place as I am tired of it. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyway..

The Panthers lost the Super Bowl. But it was a great game and this city loves them even more. I can't wait for next season.

I have to do a mid-shift tomorrow which blows. And even worse, I have to work with Jonathan in the first part of the day. He gets on my nerves more and more. I know Diane feels the same way. He's so twitchy and ...I can't describe it very well. He's a nice enough guy but he just grates.

I'm trying not to be depressed. I just feel sad. I was thinking tonight about the fact that Tanya never even called me to wish me a happy birthday. The last time I talked to her was ...I don't even remember. Maybe late October?

I left 3 messages in November that she never returned. I sang happy birthday to her on one of those voice mails. I made a decision that this friendship was really too one-sided. She needed to show some interest in maintaining it. And I'm beginning to see that for some reason she has no interest in doing so. I don't think I did anything wrong. So I'm not going there. I'm just sad that she's not my best friend anymore. We had such good times.

I was watching The Daily Show a few minutes ago and I think I lost my sense of humor. Or the show was just really off tonight.

I want it to be a week ago. I want this last week back. God damn it.

I'm going to go back up to Raleigh in March to see the Titanic exhibit. It has artifacts from the wreck and a bunch of other things. My sister, Christy, saw the exhibit when it was in Memphis a few years ago and it made her cry. It was very emotional. So I have going up there to look forward to. Just not much else in the near future.

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