I need light [ 2004-11-29, 9:22 p.m. ]

I worked this weekend. Wasn't real busy so I was pretty bored most of the time. There needs to be a happy medium between crazy busy and extremely slow.

I had a weird dream the other night. I was sitting in Michael's living room with a few other people. The lights were a bit dimmed but everyone could see each other. All of a sudden I start to have a seizure and somebody holds on to me till it passes. I make a comment that maybe its because I didn't get enough sleep or something. Then I go into another seizure and Michael holds on to me. I start yelling that I need light. I just keep repeating it over and over. Then I woke up. Freaky.

I've come to a strange realization lately. Living alone is becoming too lonely for me. I love my alone time most of the time. But sometimes I give myself way too much of it. When I leave work or my parents or the other night at Michael's house for turkey day, I was a bit sad to be alone again. I've always thought of myself as a loner. Now, not so much. I think it just means that on my days off or my vacations I shouldn't hibernate unless I'm sick or just overly tired. Going to movies or just out for coffee with a friend is what I need to do.

I'm still comfortable with myself but I can't keep hiding myself away.

This computer needs such an overhaul. I have that anti-spyware thing. I ran it today. But my computer is still running weird. And even though I haven't tried it today, I'm pretty sure it still won't defrag in a reasonable amount of time. It seems to take hours for it do it completely.

I tidied up in my bedroom. I was running out of room next to my bed to put a glass or a book without things tipping over.

I need a glass of wine for my TMJ. Too bad I don't have any liquor in the place. I need to rectify that.

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Ryan Adams