Hard,harder,hardest [ 2005-03-26, 4:44 p.m. ]

Hola! I'm at home having worked today and though it wasn't that busy, I was all set to crash on the bed when I got through the door. But, alas, my computer showed me a little bare shoulder and pouted. So how could I resist the siren song of my sexy computer?

I'll probably still lay down for a few minutes. My eyes are tired from not enough sleep last night. The book that I'm reading kept me up too late.

Yesterday I went over to my parents' to wash clothes. It had been almost a week and man, I need to buy new underwear. All I had left were major holey ones.

So, even though my Mom didn't really want to, we dyed eggs. Every year she tries to get out of it but c'mon...as long as I don't have children of my own (which will be the rest of my life), I'll be about 7 years old around the holidays. I'm still kinda put out that I have to work tomorrow. But there was no choice since Diane and Jeff both took vacation time this weekend. Dang it. I've never before worked on an Easter Sunday.

But after work tomorrow I'll be going over again to the parents' for a feast. Mandy and her brood will be there as well.

I've been thinking of doing some major cutting back on food. I snack so damn much and basically eat crap all the time. The plan is to eliminate a lot of snacks save for fruit,veggies or yogurt. And to not eat too close to bedtime. I figure with the new computer here and whatnot that I can occupy myself from gorging myself. You have no idea how jumpy I get when I try to not eat. It can give you a little taste of what a junkie must feel. Its that bad. You want to get into bed and pull the covers over your head so you can block out the world. Nail your bedroom door shut so you won't give in and go to the kitchen.

When I was living with my parents and they first got the computer, I spent sooo much time on it. I made friends online and played Trivial Pursuit on the old Sony site that had it for free. So I didn't really have time to eat snacks. I lost so much weight that way. Plus, I was having fun talking to a couple of guys and that will always take your mind off food. At least it does for me. You know..the whole thing about food equals love. If I'm getting attention or whatever, that will keep me from eating too much. It shouldn't be that way but its the truth.

Now that the weather has turned to Spring, I need to start that walking the neighborhood thing that I wanted to do. Anyways, I'm planning on getting through the holidays and the food that surrounds it, i.e.Reese's peanut butter eggs, and then do my best to try. All I can do is try.

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Ryan Adams