I'm never ready to go... [ 2005-06-07, 11:37 p.m. ]

These past couple days at work have been ok. Its always a bit of a jolt to come back from vacation, in any case. It has felt unusually busy though. Yesterday I looked at the newsstand and it must've been around 1pm or so. There were about 6 grown adults sitting on the bench at the window and several others browsing around there. I thought to myself "Don't these people have jobs?". I'm guessing a lot of people are on vacation actually.

I've got a lot on my plate at work right now. Planning the Harry Potter party, doing a loss prevention checklist and putting together a supply order. Among the usual everyday things. Welcome back to work!

Yesterday at the manager meeting, Brenda sat down a bit late and looked very much pained and down. She wasn't talking much. During a break, I tried talking to her and she ended up getting up and walking away in tears. I got up and went after her. She told me that she was losing the baby. She's about 4 months along. This is her second miscarriage and I can't imagine the pain of that. She has one child who is 12 now but the doctor told her it was probably a miracle she carried to term with him.

Her doctor told her today that she would be going through it for the next 24 to 48 hours. So Brenda calls me tonight at work to let me know that she wouldn't be able to work the next couple days. She started crying that she felt guilty about calling in and I told her that "its just the cafe. It doesn't matter. you need this time off". She works way too hard over there. Most of the managers rarely call in sick and we know its hard to cover for us being out. But if you're ill or whatever, then we can cope somehow. Its not always easy but we deal. I just hope these next few days are enough for her to recuperate physically at least. I know emotionally its going to be tough.

I came home tonight and I was about to walk down the hallway when I saw a HUGE cockroach on the floor. It had rained really hard earlier so I wasn't real surprised. Luckily, one of my tennis shoes was in the living room so I picked up the shoe and squished the bug. Ugh. And now I'm paranoid there are more. Actually there was a small one in the kitchen that I used the super duper bug spray on. The one thing I really hate about this place is the lack of weatherstripping to keep things OUT.

Now I feel kinda itchy because of the bugs. Blech.

Tomorrow is my lawyer appt at the early hour of 9am. Which for a day off is a bother to get up for but I did schedule it that way just to get it out of the way.

I think I'm going to make some mixes from my iTunes tonight and tomorrow. Fun.

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Ryan Adams