It's a Pity [ 2005-06-29, 11:05 p.m. ]

Did you ever see the movie "Defending Your Life" starring Albert Brooks? I kinda felt like that today. Only I was defending my job.

Today was my Action Plan follow-up starring me,my manager and my district manager. For those who don't remember..I didn't get a favorable yearly review and for the first time ever, did not receive a raise. Sucks to be me.

Anywho..for about 45 minutes or so, we sat in the office and I went over each of the points in the Action Plan and talked about my improvement or still working on points. It went ok, actually. My DM said that I seemed to be smiling more. I almost wanted to say that filing bankruptcy will do that for a person. A lot of anxiety that I had been feeling this past year has really let up in the past couple months. Big time. No unwanted phone calls at work from creditors. Helps a person feel a little more positive.

I think that if I've shown more improvement in a few months, that I might be eligible for a merit increase then. Here's hoping.

It's really hard sometimes to toot your horn. I have a tendency to be harder on myself than anyone else could. So I had to pull back from being too critical. I know that I'm not perfect and that although I still think I should have gotten a raise, that it did help give me a swift kick to improve my job performance. I mean, I have no prospects for something better so I better make the most of what I have right now.

I bought another album off of iTunes. A Death Cab album from 2002 called You Can Play These Songs With Chords. I love me some Death Cab. I've been listening to the new Weezer and Coldplay a lot in my car. Weezer edges Coldplay out by a fraction for being my favorite. Rivers. Yum.

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Ryan Adams