The check is in the mail...I hope [ 2005-07-30, 8:06 p.m. ]

I hate that the first thing I did when I got home from work today was cry. I checked the mailbox before opening the door and realized that the loan still hasn't come and I was so damn tired of waiting for the money to get in my hands and also just plain tired that I burst into tears. It's mainly just frustration of feeling like my life can't start till I have the loan. Which is stupid, I know.

But once I pay my mom back then I'll have some money to take care of my car and to buy some clothes. I hate waiting. I've always been bad at it. I'm 99.99% on time so when I have to wait more than 5 minutes for somebody to show up,I get kinda testy. So waiting for money to arrive is just plain killin' me.

I close on Monday but I want to wait for the mail to come so I can go directly to the bank. I'll have to negotiate something with Diane, who is the opener that day.

We've had a glitch with the transition of Jeff leaving the store. Seems the manager who was going to be going to the location that Candi was coming from had a family emergency and won't be able to start for maybe a month. Which totally blows. I really wanted Candi in the store asap. Jeff was pretty disappointed but he's just having to wait till Candi comes back from her vacation to see what she wants to do. We had a cake for him anyway today. Diane used a cake decorating tube to write "Just when I thought I was out,they pull me back in" a la Godfather III. Heh.

I've found that in trying on some clothes that I've managed to gain some pounds. Which for me is not good. Being overweight already this is not good news. Which is also why I want this loan so I can go join the YWCA and start to literally swim my ass off. Swimming is my favorite form of exercise and since my feet always give me trouble, swimming is better for me.

I think I'm calmer now. Still a bit pissed off but calmer. I let myself cry for a few minutes and then reasoned with myself. I think it's ok to cry sometimes but you do have to realize that it's just a release and not necessarily a solution. Unless you're trying to get out of a ticket or something.

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