Face off [ 2005-08-24, 2:51 a.m. ]

I was talking today to our new dept.mgr,Tracy,and I was bitching about a certain cafe worker. The fact that if you try to correct him or tell him anything,he kinda gives you this offended look like I don't have the right to say anything. The thing is is that this guy is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I've called him dumb as a post but not to his face.

Anyway,I was saying that I was going to do something that would make the guy call the home office complaint line. "But he'd have to figure out how to dial a phone first". Tracy and I laughed at my comment then I stopped and said "Listen to me. Man,that's awful. I am so mean!"

I don't really feel that bad about it but my cattyness got the better of me. Meow! I go past the sarcasm stop sometimes stray to Cattyville. Oh,well. Nobody's perfect. I did try to act very patient and good-humored with him the whole night just to make up for a remark he didn't hear.

I think I was either a Catholic or a Jew in a former life with all the guilt I put on myself so easily.

Anyways.. Last week I had a dream that a former cafe worker came into the store and was rehired unbeknownest to me. This guy,J.H.,was a good guy at the beginning but really became super-slacker with lateness and bad attitude. I had a confrontation with him that was not fun. Of course any confrontation for me is ulcer-inducing. So I woke up from that dream going "Oh crap. That was awful." I haven't seen this guy since he quit several months ago.

So tonight I was toting around a cart of books and saw somebody go past an aisle and say "Hey! How're you doing?" I stopped and saw it was J.H. of all people. He was very upbeat and filled me in on his life (college and job wise) and seemed happy enough to see me. Which was nice. The thing is when he started and close to the end, he would talk about music with me and seemed to really appreciate my taste in things. So that was why when he really went downhill at work that it was kinda sad to not have that easygoing relationship anymore. I had to be Ms.Manager-type and he probably disliked me for a while.

While I like telling people what to do...I hate having to correct them. I don't mean things like pointing out the right procedures or whatnot. But it's behavior that I have a hard time talking about with the person. It feels like I'm attacking them and I know it's just part of my job. It isn't personal. Part of my training was that when you're discussing a problem, you are discussing behavior,not the person. Like if somebody is a bit short with a customer..I don't tell them that they are bad with customers. I tell them that they need to think about how they sound when they say something.

Anyway. I still haven't recovered from that "Six Feet Under" finale. Truly. It's just haunting. I think I need to watch it again.

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Ryan Adams