Time takes time,ya know [ 2005-11-13, 2:37 a.m. ]

Hello again.

Nothing much to report. Still having my little nightmare daydreams about being fired. Trying my best to do what I can do at work and not let anyone know what's wrong. My manager comes back from having several days off on Monday. I'm nervous about that. During the "review" or "ambushing" on Tuesday, I was just sobbing. I don't care if it was unprofessional. I felt blindsided.

I'm going over to Michael's on Monday to get him to help me work on my resume. Paul, who is also a friend of Michael's and mine, is coming over too. I called him today and he said he'd just got done talking with Michael. When I'd emailed Michael about coming over, he said that Paul was the "resume king" so that sounds hopeful. I'm going to go to Office Depot to get some nice resume paper just in case we get things that far.

So that part of my life is good. I haven't told anybody in my real life about this review. The threat of firing. I feel like if I say it out loud I'll start sobbing again. I don't want to do that.

On a brighter note, my NaNo novel is still going well. I'm having to finagle to stretch it out though. I think I'm more of short story kinda gal so it's kinda difficult. I'm learning the art of padding and the art of taking your character out of town to visit other people. Hee. But it's really doing the story good I think. So, I'm up to 20,048 words. I broke the 20k mark. I can't believe it.

This coming week (besides the nightmare that is work) I get to go see Ben Folds (whom I listening to right now) in Greenville,SC with my friend,Christie, who also went to see Ryan Adams with me back in May in Asheville. Then the next day is the Southern Christmas Show with my Mom. That's a big tradition with us. Then the next day I have a Pampered Chef party to go to that my friend A.B. is having at her place. I know. How girly. But I've been to one of those parties and my Mom and I ended up spending at least $100. We got a little out of control. But anyway, A.B. said it was just an excuse to drink beer and watch movies. Heh. That's exactly like her too.

So...to review. Work--bad. I feel like I'm living a double life there.

Rest of my life--pretty good. I'd feel so much better about the holidays (my absolutely favorite time of year) if I didn't have the Sword of Damocles hanging up there. (I always think of Rocky Horror when I hear that phrase).

I should be going to bed now. I vowed to go to work 2 hours early tomorrow morning. I'm closing so I don't need to be there till 11am but I got a lot of crap to do, per usual. Here's hoping I can get about 5 hours of sleep.

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Ryan Adams