Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings [ 2005-12-03, 7:00 p.m. ]

You know, I know I have every right to have a bout of self pity being in this situation at this time of the year. But something on tv just now reminded me that life isn't that bad.

I saw part of the show on Bravo called "Greatest Things about the Holidays" and they mentioned my favorite movie of all time It's a Wonderful Life. The message of that movie is so clear and just seeing a small part of it made me stop and think. I mean, if I do get fired, I'm sure I'll cry and be a bit unhappy. But I know it won't be the end of the world. And I am going to refuse to let it get me so down. I'm going to refuse to let THEM get me down. Especially during my favorite time of year, Christmastime. I want my heart to be lighter. I want to not feel bitter. I want to know that there are a lot worse things that could happen to me. Besides, natural disasters and so forth. I could lose one of my parents or my sisters. That's true pain. Or I could be in worse health than I am now. Being fat is bad enough but at least, I'm not that bad off.

And I know that it won't be easy to keep a Pollyanna attitude but I'm going to at least try. I can at least try to laugh instead of cry. To quote Monty Python, "Look on the bright side of life".

I'm going to see the band, X, tonight with my friend,Christie. Juliana Hatfield is opening, so that should be good.

One last funny thing even though it does relate to my feelings about work: I renamed my work number id on my cell phone. So a while ago, when Diane called me back about something, the screen said "Hell calling". It doesn't get much funnier than that.

*Thanks to all of you for your support in all this drama in my life right now. It means a lot to me. :-)

A few hours later...OH MY GOD!!!! The concert was AMAZING!!! Julianna was terrific. AND HOLY CRAP!! X fucking KICKED ASS!!! And to top this off... I GOT TO MEET JOHN DOE!!!!!!!!!!! Holy motherfucking shit! I shook his hand. Told him I had nothing for him to sign but asked if we could get a picture. Christie took a pic of me and him with my camera phone. He told me that it probably wasn't going to look that good but I told him I didn't care. He then said since I had nothing to sign that would be a memento for me. He's so damn laid back. I fucking loved him. Damn sexy man. Whenever I get the link thing to download pics off my phone, I'll post my pic of John and I. I'm in fucking heaven right now. I'm so glad Christie prodded me to talk to him. Wooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Till I upload my photo of him, here's one from the X website of him.

That would be John with singer, Exene Cervenka of X.

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Ryan Adams