40 [ 2006-01-19, 12:39 a.m. ]

I saw Chris again in the store tonight. I talked with him for a few minutes about the different diet books that we have on display. He's thinking of going on the South Bch. diet. I look at him and think "why?". He maybe..maybe has put on 10 lbs. in this past year. I guess he is at the age where a guy who has always been fit starts to see lbs. creeping on. I think he's about 36 or so. Lordy.

I think when I was talking to him I all but twirled my hair. I went back to the receiving room where my manager was counting a till. I told her that I got to wait on the guy I've had a crush on for five years. She looked at me and chuckled and said that my face was red. Ha. Never fucking fails.

Anyway...

I watched Lord of War tonight on dvd. I would give it maybe a B. It was longer than needed or rather not as tightly edited as it should have been. However, Nic Cage was excellent and the art direction was eye-catching. Jared Leto was also a nice addition of eye candy as was Ethan Hawke. Not that their own acting wasn't good but still..a girl has to have something to concentrate on sometimes when the movie isn't keeping her interest.

I have tomorrow off again as I'm a very delicate person and can't work two days in a row. Heh. Actually, I'll work 7 days in a row till next Friday, the 27th. My birthday. My 40th birthday. I still have no idea what I'll be doing. I need to firm up plans soon, I guess.

I got my dvds in the mail from Block-buster online today. I think MLK day delayed them a day as they said in their email that the dvds would be here on Tuesday. So for the next shipment we'll see how fast they are without a holiday messing up the mail service. So I might watch one of them tonight and the other two tomorrow. Plus, I need to clean out my fridge. Big time. It looks like I have sooo much food in there right now. It's all an illusion. Most of it is past the expiration or just has gone bad. Blech.

I still don't know what to think about my 40th birthday coming up. I know that other people have hit that mark and not fretted too much over it. I know that my 30th wasn't that bad. I think my 25th was more traumatic because I kept saying to myself that I was a quarter of a century. That really doesn't help the mindset. There's a ton of things I wanted to have done by the time I was 40. When I was younger I thought I would have teenage children by now and be in a rock solid marriage. As I got older, the plans changed to other things like career or travel. Expectations lower as you get older.

I will not get depressed. I will not get depressed.

Too late.

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