Moses supposes his toeses are roses [ 2006-03-10, 9:48 p.m. ]

I've lived in the South all my life. Born and bred,as they say. I've lived in North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, Georgia (when I was very little) and Florida (northern part, so it counts). Anywho...why can't I understand Southern accents sometimes? It's crazy. We talk funny! Now, if you heard me, you'd know I was from the South but I don't have a heavy accent at all seeing as how I took theatre, voice/diction class, choir and have hung out with a lot of people from the North and Mid-West.

I do have a hard time not saying "y'all". It's bad. Whenever I have to make a call up to our Westbury,NY offices I have to force myself to not say "y'all" too much. I even say "y'all's". As in "y'all's new car". I know. It's bad. So bad. But really that's the biggest part that gives me away. I don't care that I sound Southern. Big deal. I just don't want to sound unintelligible to people who grew up here as well.

I had a lady last year who called and asked for a book that was about "the war on tara". I had to have her repeat it three times before I realized that this wasn't a book about "Gone with the Wind" but about the "war on TERROR". There are r's in there, lady!

I have this problem more often than just last year but that's the one that stands out and makes me laugh.

Today I had a woman in the store who asked me while I was walking through the children's section "Do you have a book called 'The Fighting Elephant'?". Uh.."The Fighting Elephant?" I asked. "No, 'The Fateful Elephant'". Oh,okay. I type it in. No dice. She's looking over my shoulder, "No, 'The Faithful Elephant'". Oh, good grief. I just ask for a bit more annunciation. Is that too much to ask?

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Ryan Adams