Steady as she goes [ 2006-05-29, 6:59 p.m. ]

Well, this is interesting.

I had an interesting conversation with my boss today. But let me backtrack.

Remember how yesterday I was bitching about the fact that my neighbors were having a party? That thing lasted till almost 3am!! I could hear them clomping up and down the hallway even with my bedroom door closed. Finally, I was able to sleep at around 4:30am and had to get up at 6am. Woohoo! An hour and a half of sleep!! And I worked an 11 hour day because I have quite a bit to take care of by Thursday since my vacation starts at 3:30pm that day. Anyhoo...

I had been feeling a bit anxious about the fact that I had a meeting scheduled with my boss on Tuesday so I headed her off at the pass and arranged for us to talk this morning. Basically, it was a follow-up to the one we had May 1st. Thankfully, it went well. But you know me. Low self-esteem most of the time so I have no clue how these things will go ahead of time.

But the thing is before that she was asking who I thought that worked at the store would make a good music manager for the new store she'll be opening in November. She kept saying "somebody who knows music and movies really well. has management experience..." and I was standing there like a doofus trying to think of who that would be. Then I noticed she was staring at me intently. Heh.

She asked if I would be interested since that's something like I really love and know. I looked at her and said "but would you want me over there?". Which is stupid since she's the one who brought it up. She said "yes!!". She told me she wasn't sure if it would be a cut in pay or not and would check with our DM about it. Then she told me that she'd been brainstorming with the DM about a music manager (this would be a one million dollar department, which is major) and she'd come up with my name.

This just means a lot to me even if I end up not going for it because of a cut in pay. It means her level of confidence in me is bigger than I really understood. And it forgives a lot of what I've gone through with her in these past months. Seriously. Like I've said before, y'all only hear what I'm going through. It could be different if you saw things from her side. She's not perfect, definitely. But she does have high standards that really challenge a person to attain them. Most of the time it can give you a lot of satisfaction. Other times, you fall short and have to own up to why. But it's fine. I'm fine. We'll see where this goes.

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Ryan Adams