Rant [ 2006-06-28, 2:37 a.m. ]

Now Playing:"Today" by I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness. I got this album mainly, at first, because I love love love the band name. But the music is cool,too.

Tuesday was my day off. Here's how it started: I was lying in bed and my cell phone rang. I saw the time was around 10am. I looked to see who was calling and the caller i.d. said Diane, the other asst. manager. In my heart I knew this was not going to be good news. So I didn't answer it. I figured she knew my home number and I don't like talking on my cell in my house because of the crappy reception.

Sure enough, about 5 minutes later my home phone rings. The caller i.d. identifies Diane but I let the machine pick up. She left a message saying that she wasn't going into work today and that she was taking a leave of absence till July 12th. My heart sank. Like it's been a piece of cake to work lately what with how short-handed we are managerial-wise and bookseller-wise.

I sighed and waited a few minutes to get myself under control. I called her back and she restated what she had said and that she'd already called the store and talked with Jonathan, who opened today. As well as talking to Chris,our district manager. She hadn't been able to talk to our manager since Candi is all the way down in Florida on training. She said her reasons were that she'd been to the doctor Monday morning and he'd recommended she take some time off because of the depression she's been battling that she thinks might be tied in with her menopause and possibly the drugs she's still on from her cancer scare back in the winter.

Now, I knew she'd been having problems. So it wasn't a complete surprise. But really...she just got back from vacation. Literally. And she was taking most of next week off too. I don't get this. While I'm definitely not exactly a shining example of health, I feel downright hardy next to Diane. She frequently calls in with migraine problems. She's so damn fragile. I guess it's just that I don't understand it. Whenever I've been depressed I just fake my way through work and just push through it. I don't always think I'll make it out and I know that some prescription drugs would have helped me but taking all this time off right now especially is just...not selfish. I don't want to say that. But I know that I do feel resentful for her doing this.

Chris was scrambling to get managers from other locations to help us out for the rest of this week. It seems to have worked out. Except for today. Jonathan offered to either work the whole day or to have me come in to close and I only get one day off. I'm sorry..no. I pulled a full day two Sundays ago and I've done the full day on a regular workday as well. I opted to not do it. He'll get those hours paid back to him somehow. When, I have no idea.

After all this drama, I went out to my car in the afternoon to drive over to my parents' to wash clothes. Click. Nothing. My battery was dead. Again. Fuck. This happened about a month ago and I had to get Jonathan to come over and give it a jump so I could go open the store. I was stupid to not go get it looked at after that. So, today I called my mom and she drove over and I jumped my car. We caravaned over to her house and when I parked I tested the battery by turning the key again. Click. Nothin. Again. Dammit. I borrowed my mom's car to drive home and I asked her to ask dad to take a look at it and see if he could figure out the problem. He works again tomorrow night (he's a security guard overnight on Mon,Tues,and Wednes.) so I don't think he'll get to it till Thursday. Meanwhile...I get to drive a fairly new car. Yeah for that. And praise God for my parents.

So yea, I have to work in the morning and I tried to get to sleep but had a bizarro dream. This old guy was hunting witches and tried to grab me but I was fighting him off when I woke up. I could still feel his hands around my wrists. Creeped me out.

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Ryan Adams