I cannot stop thinking about Wednesday night. On one hand, it makes me smile and feel a bit giddy when I think of how it felt to look right in his eyes and just connect.
And on the other hand, I cringe just thinking about how the night ended with him. I keep trying to think about how I could have done things differently. But, honestly, with my limited experience I don't know what I would have really done differently. I can't go back in time. It is what it is. The most I can hope for is to see him next time and not have any weirdness.
I ended up not napping till about 4pm yesterday and that was only for 3 hours. I had stayed up for about 30 hours straight. That stuff really had me going. I had to force myself to lay down and zone out. And then, last night I ended up just getting around 5 hours sleep.
I would love to go out again tomorrow night but I don't know if that will happen. There's just no telling anymore what might happen if I do. Heh.Oh..I almost forgot! I just had to tell you guys about how offbeat Matt really is. Him mom is a lesbian and a well-known dominatrix in the area. So well-known that she was written up in the major men's magazine, MAX--IM (trying to not let this up on google myself). So if you google that magazine name and her name which is Luna-- Sea (take out the hypens and make it one word) you can read about her, the place I go for karaoke (though on a different night. Monday is fetish night. I go on Wednesdays when just us other fringe types hang out), and about her two sons, one being Matt. When you go down about halfway there are a few paragraphs about him and they are very telling for his appeal and his attitude. Mainly, how he just didn't get how I wasn't bi. And not up for just anything. Like he is. Though he is not bi himself though he experimented. He likes women more which is quite quite obvious. Damn his cute self.
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