Here's the article I just wrote for the music 'zine. I even put in a disclaimer for the readers of the zine so nobody gets offended.

Warning: The following article contains bile, sarcasm and the F-word.

I think the J. Geils Band said it best when they sang, �Love stinks/Yea, yea�. A profound statement. I�ve always been a fan of the anti-love song. Not just the HATE song but also the �Why the hell am I in love with you of all people?� song and the �Would you just leave me alone now?� song. Not to mention the �Stop taking advantage of me� songs. There are some classics out there for all kinds of anti-love moods.

And I figured that with my least favorite Hallmark holiday coming up, now was as good as time as any to make a play list for that oh-so-special day.

We could start with a fun �80�s tune by Scandal when it was simply called that before Patti Smyth put her name before it. They had the toe-tappin� hit �Goodbye to You�. It�s a nice kiss-off song without too much bitterness. Staying in the same decade, there is Joan Jett with �I hate myself for loving you�. In this song, the girl needs to get a clue. I wanna walk but I run back to you/that�s why I hate myself for loving you. C�mon, Joan. Just keep walking.

What you need is Carly Simon�s �You�re so Vain� to put the guy in his place. I mean, really. Who dates a guy who wears an apricot scarf? Let�s move on to some angry songs. Next up, Puddle of Mudd�s �She Hates Me�, which gets my admiration for the lyrics She fucking hates me/la la la love. And what angry anti-love collection would this be without Alanis Morissette�s �You Oughta Know� where she flips off her ex in front of the whole world.

Speaking of angry love, on the male front you have to include a song from the Afghan Whigs, who were kings of the fucked-up love songs. My favorite of those being �What Jail Is Like� where Greg Dulli growls, �You want to scare me then you�ll cling to me no matter what I do�. Then there�s the unexpected Harry Nilsson song that a friend recommended to me called �You�re Breaking My Heart (So Fuck You)�. This from the man who brought you �The Puppy Song�! Adding to that, there�s Ani DiFranco�s �Untouchable Face� with her lyrics �fuck you for existing in the first place�.

We could throw in a few depressing songs from Joy Division (�Love Will Tear Us Apart�) and Patsy Cline (�Crazy�) but I prefer to finish it up with Tom Petty & the Heartbreaker�s sardonically toned �You Got Lucky� and the Dandy Warhols� �Solid� where Courtney sings �No more sittin� around thinking about your hair� with the super-bonus track from Ben Folds Five, �Song for the Dumped�. Just give him back his damn black t-shirt! For the love of God.

I think this play list should get me through the day that will be filled with heart-shaped chocolate boxes and teddy bears. Which will be discounted the next day for all of us who didn�t receive them. Not that I�m bitter. Nope. Not me.

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