Dammit [ 2007-07-02, 2:27 a.m. ]

Oh,crap. It's sliding towards infatuation. That sexy pull of thinking about only one person. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The only thing I can think to do is just hook with the next random guy when Jim is around. I doubt I can force myself to do that though. But I am so goddamn stupid. I purposely had him show me something where his fingers had to touch mine. I brought a camera tonight to trivia and took his picture several times. I was careful to take other pictures of other people so it wasn't too obvious.

I didn't have dinner with him tonight though. He didn't get back in time for us to really relax and eat before trivia. I was talking to him tonight about his job and I said something "See this is why I wanted to have dinner" because it was so damn loud in the bar. He said "Oh, you mean so we could have an actual conversation!?" with a laugh.

I gave him three mixes that I made for him of old and new stuff. Yes, I know that is what I do when I like a guy. I'm just hoping he won't see it that way. Maybe I should go bang my head against the wall.

This is a picture from Jim's myspace. It's kinda cool but he's much cuter when he smiles.(God,I sound stupid)And he doesn't have those crazy sideburns anymore.

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Ryan Adams