Word [ 2007-07-05, 9:14 p.m. ]

A myspace message that I sent Jim late after he left my place Tuesday night. I start off by continuing our conversation about his attempted suicide.

From: Judith
Date: Jul 4, 2007 4:31 AM

If you ever do that again...I won't go on. I really don't want to imagine this life without someone like Jim. He is the best. And it would totally suck without you. Therefore...you jump..I jump.. So just don't.

------ This was his reply since he didn't read it till early this morning.

I'm not planning on it... but if I change my mind, I'll let you know... I still want my tombstone to read, "He died awesomely" and jerking around in the bathroom with a razorblade is not "awesomely." We'll think of something real badass. ;)

Glad you could come last night; talk to you this afternoon.


That is the kind of guy he is. And this is the kind of relationship we have. I can't say enough about him.

I texted him today saying (about Eston) "Why am I still upset about his call? Sometimes I just want to shake me." His text back was to the point and clear "Negative changes in people are always shocking". That really was a part of it,too. And the other part of my being upset is the fact that my self-esteem is so low.

I'll be going out a little later and really hope Eston isn't there. If he is, I know Jim will keep things calm.

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