Ok. A bit better today. Trying to just focus on the here and now. Problems that I can try to fix. As in, my car. I took my car to the mechanic, got the oil changed and they said "yes, you need a radiator". So with the cost of that and how much work that car needs on it due to my constant neglect and it's age (13 years), I'm probably going to buy a new car at the end of the week. I don't want to but at the same time, I'm sort of excited. I'm going for a cheap, new one with no money down and low payments. Which means probably a Kia since they have some pretty good deals most of the time.

I spoke online last night with a friend from my message board and she helped me keep calm after my meltdown. Plus, the pot that I still have from a few weeks ago helped that some, too. I got most of the tobacco out of a cigarette and put in the weed and voila! a joint. I could feel my limbs get loose right away.

I'm borrowing my mom's car till Friday or so until I get a new car (crossing fingers). It's so nice to drive a car and not worry about it. Sigh.

And just to add. I haven't texted Jim even once today. One day, one to go. I've vowed to not initiate contact for at least two days. Maybe he'll miss me, who knows.

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