Sometimes love don't feel like it should... [ 2007-07-25, 1:52 a.m. ]

For a day that started out sucky, it ended so nicely.

I woke up feeling pretty crappy. My stomach was in knots. I left work early as soon as my next employee came in at 11am. I took sick time for the remainder. I came home, slept for at least 4 hours and woke up still feeling crappy. I knew part of it was the fact that I hadn't written my two articles for the magazine. I get physically ill close to deadlines. Blah. So I did them. They weren't great. Short but sweet. But I don't care. Just glad they're out of my hair. This month has been one that I didn't feel like doing anything I should be doing. I've wanted to play hooky all month long. Maybe it's because of Jim, I don't know.

Anyway, my stomach was still floofy (TM Phoebe) so I made myself eat something just in case that might help. It didn't really but I kept most of it in me, if you know what I mean. Eww.

I texted Jim about going out tonight to open mic at the bar. I told him I would go if they were going. Really meaning if he was going. Finally, he said he was going to be there around 9:45pm. He had said earlier that Alli,Brooke and Thomas weren't going to be there. So I thought..ah ha..I have him to myself again!

Anyway, I walk in and Eston is up on stage messing with his guitar. He looked up when I walked in, I waved and gave him a small smile and he waved back. We have reached a truce,ladies and gentlemen! A truce!

I went to get a beer and I hear "Judith!" from behind me and Alli and Jim were sitting at the booth against the left wall. I was happy to see her, really. No, no..really! Ok, I'm partially lying. But she is nice and I like to talk to her. She was between Jim and I. We leaned against each other, my confessing that my tummy was feeling off. She wasn't feeling great either but that's because of the IBS she has, poor thing. After a while, Brooke showed and so did Thomas.

Alli left about then and then Brooke did. At that point my neck and shoulders were really bothering me with how tense they were so I said to Jim, "Hey, can you ask you a favor?" He immediately said "Sure". I asked him to massage my neck and shoulders and he agreed though he can't do it too long because like me his thumbs will cramp up. But his hands were on me and it was splendid.

Eston started playing the Beatles' song "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" and I jumped up and sang with him. Thomas and Jim told me it sounded great, the sweethearts.

At one point I was looking at Jim's shoes and acted like I was going to tie them together. But I did untie one of them. I then tied it back and gave him the 5 year old's pat-pat after doing so. He looked pleased and said he liked that. I then tied his other shoe and did the same. Damn, he's cute.

Then late in the night, Eston started sort of playing the Kinks' "Lola" which he didn't know all the words to. So I jumped up again and started singing. At one point I broke out the "pretty" voice instead of the "rocker" voice. Jim told me that he'd never heard me sing in a girl voice as opposed to my grrrl voice and said it sounded really nice. *blush* If he comes out on Thursday for karaoke I can show that voice off to him.

I am wicked, I know. Brooke is going to Costa Rica to teach World History at a private school down there. I'm happy for her opportunity and I will miss her. But another part of me is like "One less girl to distract Jim". I feel so bad for thinking that. But then I happened to start thinking on the drive home...what is Alli going to do? Brooke was her roommate. Will she completely move in with Jim now? If she does, how will that effect things?

Sigh. So I might be going with Jim and Thomas tomorrow night to play trivia at this other place. Thomas and Jim were saying how I am the most knowledgeable trivia player they've ever seen and think they'll have a chance to win if I'm there. I love those two boys. Ok. I like Thomas. And I really love Jim. It kills me most of the time. But it hurts so good.

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