I have to be up in less than five hours. Damn. And tomorrow is the day I need to be at work at 6am ready to run about and get things done. I'm training our newest asst. manager so today was me not being able to do the things I really need to get done before I start vacation on Friday. I have annual reviews to finish, the merchandising changeover to complete, some other paperwork to get done etc...
It's just the usual crunch before my Sept. vacation. It's like this every year.
I am going to see Jim play at open mic tomorrow night. And if Alli isn't there (she's been out of town for those classes), I'm going to try my best to talk with him about my feelings for him. I do not expect anything to come out of telling him. But I feel I need to acknowledge the purple kangaroo in the room, ya know? I do feel like he knows but I'd rather just tell him "Jim, I've developed very strong feelings for you. And I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable." We'll see what happens there. I don't know if he'll get all bothered about it or if he'll be touched by how I feel. I've no idea.
I just need to go to sleep now so I won't be comatose tomorrow. By the way, I think I've become what they call a "cutter". If I can't have the guts to slice my wrists, I'll just cut myself a little. I'm completely conscious of what it is and what it's about. And I'm oddly proud of the little cuts I've made on my forearm. You could easily think you're reading the blog of a 15 year old sometimes. I really think my emotional level is still back there.
4 comments so far