The beast and the dragon adored [ 2007-09-20, 7:33 p.m. ]

I worked a half day today. Frankly I was feeling a bit run-down so I thought..hell...this might be my last chance before the holidays zoom in to actually use my sick time without guilt. And I did. I had gone in at 11am and left at 4pm when my closer came in.

I think I'm getting sleep deprived. I mean...more than usual. Tomorrow is my day off and I close on Saturday, so I should get some solid sleep in there.

I was reading the magazine Real Simple and I started reading this article about this woman who had a "normal" life and had been sufferring from depression. I was reading it and so much identified with it. A pretty normal family...nothing that was a trauma of such size like abuse or anything. It was so odd to just read about somebody who seemed like me. I need to finish the article.

Anyways, I came home and after laying in bed just zoning out, I decided to color my hair again. All the silver was really starting to show through the black. One day I might want that look (though my real color is a medium brown..I think)but not quite yet. So now it's dyed. I'm waiting for some baked ziti to finish cooking and I'm watching an episode of King of Queens. Later tonight, I'll be at the bar. Last night it was really crowded. I sang "I don't like Mondays" and "Jessie's Girl". The latter I hadn't sung before and I freakin' nailed it.

I bought my ticket to see Spoon in Asheville. I was going to buy a ticket for the Flaming Lips who are playing in town in a couple weeks but they've sold out! Darn. I saw them back in 1989 at the club I worked in. I took that night off and there were probably about 50 people there. But the Lips did all the fog and strobe lights anyway. It was great. But I waited too long to buy my ticket. That's why I made sure I bought my Spoon ticket since they won't be playing till Oct. 24th. I had been listening to the "Gimme Fiction" cd the last few days and knew that I just couldn't NOT go see them. Even if it is two hours away in the mountains.

Oh and one last thing. I had a dream about Bob Dylan last night. It was like it was the sixties. He saw me in this crowd and fell in love with me. I mean,really. Bob Dylan was head over heels in love with me. Damn. I love that man, too. My dreams are so representational sometimes. My need for love from a man I love as well is so overwhelming that it invades my dreams all the time.

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Ryan Adams