Can you hear them? [ 2007-10-05, 4:07 a.m. ]

One of those nights where I don't want to go to bed. A night like many other. I'm working 5 days in a row and tomorrow is day 4. Sometimes it's ok but this week just seems to be draggggginnnngggggg. Wednesday night I fell asleep by 11pm and didn't fully awake till noon. It felt good but I need to go to sleep pretty damn soon to be able to get another good night's rest.

I went out to the bar tonight and found, unexpectedly, that they were having trivia. Seems they'll be doing that every Thursday. I liked doing trivia when Jim was involved but not so much now. So I guess I'll go back to going to the bar on Wednesday nights instead. I sang one song once they were finally done with the trivia. It was "Our Lips Are Sealed" which went over well.

I got a reply back from Jim today. He apparantly was writing in it between doing work and admitted that it wasn't a complete email but he was sending it anyway so at least he'd be sending something. I think my remarks to him finally hit home. I told him that in a book I was reading currently (New Moon by Stephenie Meyer) the main character calls a friend that she relies upon "safe harbor". Meaning she felt safe with him and that he filled a void within her. I essentially told him that he was my safe harbor. Somebody who could understand me when most, if not all, didn't understand the level of crazy in me like he does.

He talked a bit about anger. But then he also talked about music and asking me if I was going to see Eston play this Saturday. (I saw Eston tonight at the bar and he told me about it,too)

It was just nice to get a regular email from him. I feel so cut off from him right now. Hate it. I did send him a quick email tonight asking when would be a good night (Sunday,Monday or Tuesday)for me to come over for a visit and to practice.

In other news that is unrelated to Jim... My dad let me borrow some more money from him so I could pay my rent tomorrow. And actually borrow is not the right word. He gave it to me. No strings. He is also letting me use his visa to pay off my electric bill so it won't be cut off next week. I don't know how this has happened again to me. No,wait. I do. My cute but expensive car.

I actually did go to T@rget with the intention of putting in an application. But you do it at these computers. One was broken and some guy was on one and I didn't feel like waiting forever. But I will go back again when I have more time. They actually had a Now Hiring sign out so that was good. I just hope they don't do the drug testing thing. I don't smoke pot that much but I don't like having to submit to that kind of thing. One of the many things I love about the book culture. Live and let live.

I would really like to get a part time job in a smaller place but I don't know what the chances are on that. Most small places would be like bookstores or record stores and they would be a competitive problem.

Ok. I shall try to shut myself down soon. Yawn.

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Ryan Adams