Into your arms... [ 2007-10-22, 4:33 p.m. ]

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. It's been a bit of a week.

My dad went in this past Friday for an out-patient procedure. It was to see about the blockages in his legs that have been causing him numbness for a while. When they were doing that there was a lot of bleeding when an artery burst so they had to stop. They had to go back in again when there was no circulation in one foot. Then again when his blood pressure went down really low, very fast. They were afraid that he might lose a leg if it didn't get pretty fast. So Friday night was a lot of worrying. And I was already in Charleston visiting my sis, Christy. So our other sis, Mandy, was trying to take care of my mom and dad while all this was going on.

Anyway, my dad started getting much better on Saturday and Christy and I talked to him on the phone on Sunday and he sounded good. When I got home today, my mom and I went to visit him for an hour and a half. He walked around using his walker and we walked the hallways together. I have to say that when it comes to other people, I handle the stress really well. I like helping people. But for my mom, anything outside of her routine is just too much. It's like ..I don't know. I love her. And she's a good person. But she just hates anything to interrupt her routine.

But back to last week. I felt pretty crappy most of the week, mentally-wise. At work, I got reprimanded for opening my mouth when I shouldn't have. She had to bark at me in front of two other people. I know she didn't like doing it but it was the only way to get me to stop telling somebody something I had no business telling. For me, I wasn't aware of the big deal but she explained it to me afterwards. I told her that sometimes I have a big mouth and I just need to shut up. I hate that. I got that chill all over me and felt so embarrassed. It really makes me want to just not say anything. Good thing I'm on vacation this week.

The trip to Charleston was good. It was good to get away. But all I want to do is find Jim's arms and run into them.

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Ryan Adams