Fat [ 2007-10-26, 1:32 a.m. ]

So...I can't seem to leave the house as usual. This seems to happen on my vacation. My vacation in Sept. was like this. The one in June wasn't as much but that's also when I completely flipped out. I need to have a happy medium. I have three full days left of my vacation. The rain isn't helping my wanting to leave but we desperately need the rain here so I'm not complaining about that. I just need to go to bed before dawn (I've been watching movies the whole night) and get up before noon. The main things I need to accomplish are: making my next therapy appt., calling about selling my old car and going out and putting in a few applications for a part-time job.

I think I felt like I had little to look forward to this week. I had asked Jim a few days ago if he wanted to do something Friday night but he is most likely having to go up to the mountains for a family thing with Alli. Blah. I was going to go out last night and then tonight to the bar but both times I wussed out. I mean, it was fun watching the Series but I still could've gone cause I'm sure they would've have the tv turned to it.

I just didn't feel like making the effort at all. I feel fatter than usual. I made the mistake of weighing myself when I was at Christy's house and realized how much I've gained back. I had suspected it but seeing it for real just made me feel worse. Sigh. I just need to not think too much tomorrow and just do it. How Nike of me. Just do what I need to do. I have actually done a modicum of cleaning. Not so much that you'd notice it but I do.

One thing I'm trying to motivate myself to do next week is the NaNoWriMo as you can see from my participant logo. I have a couple ideas but I'm not sure yet what will spring forth.

Most of all, I'm just needing to talk to people. The only person I've spoken with these past two days is the pizza delivery girl.

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Ryan Adams