The more you ignore me, the closer I get [ 2008-02-04, 4:08 a.m. ]

I've decided to live up to my moniker of an Insomniac. On the eve of having to go back to work. Damn. I have to be at work at 7am. Sucks for me since that's in less than 3 hours. Crappers.

Of course, I did stay up all night Saturday night in the way of a teenager without parents home "I can stay up as late as I wanna!!". Because at first I had been about to go to bed by 2am (early for me) and just said "Nah. Might as well enjoy it." So back into the living room I went to watch various tv programs. Mainly these forensic shows on Trutv (formerly CourtTV). So when I finally did go to bed I laid in bed thinking of all the ways somebody could break in and kill me. I gotta stop watching those shows. vacation ended up with me just sitting around the house watching the rest of the first season of The Tudors on Showtime. Mainly in my pjs while just lounging on my chaise. If I didn't have a job I could easily become agoraphobic. There's no real reason to leave the house otherwise, is there? You can have groceries and drugs delivered. Pay all your bills online. I swear, it would be so damn easy.

Anyway, I had a therapy appt. Thursday morning at 11am which I slept right through. Yep. I knew it was too early for me during my vacation.

On Friday night I went out with my cousins, Pam & Phyllis. I met up with them at the dive/grill that Pam works at just a few doors down from my karaoke bar. We ate and then headed on over to the bar just before 11pm. It wasn't real crowded but it wasn't dead. We started off with shots of Grey Goose. I was also drinking Malibu Rum and Diet Coke on ice. That is one yummy drink. I had quite a few but because of the burger I had just eaten and the fact that I'm huge, I only got a bit tipsy. I could drink most people way under the table really. Now if I'd been drinking beer...or red bull/vodka maybe not.

I got up and sang "House of the Rising Sun", "Kiss Off" and "We Got the Beat". It was an enthusiastic and appreciative crowd. Mostly regulars so that was cool. I saw S. there which was good. He's a good guy and I got him to do his rock ballad version of "Beautiful" by X-Tina. Afterwards he sat down next to me and we laid our heads on each other. He's a wee fella but I kinda find him interesting in a way. I mean I usually go for tall guys and he's about 5 foot. Seriously. But he's got that rocker vibe and can play guitar. But I really just see him as a friend.

Pam,Phyllis and I got up and sang "We are Family" which ended up sounding pretty bad but it was fun. Pam was getting a lot of male attention. She's very talkative, cute and extremely outgoing. But she's also got a b/f at home who has cancer. So this is her way of letting off steam. She also drank a whole bunch which makes her not want to go home. Which, hey, I've been there so it didn't bother me. All the male attention to her did make me feel a bit ignored. Though S. didn't pay her much mind. :) Also, Matt (mr.KJ) kept talking to me. It's funny with him. I think he seeks me approval when I'm there. Phyllis noticed that herself and pointed it out.

I had a good time with them and really want to do that more often. It's fun hanging out with relatives. We have this built in kind of bond. With some relatives that doesn't work but I think with cousins it is different. At least for us. Phyllis turns 40 in a couple of weeks. And Pam turns 37 this summer. So we really have grown up together though we haven't always kept up. I say it is about time.

One really funny thing was that after 2am they're trying to get everybody to finish up their drinks by 2:30. I kept seeing Ken and my mind had gone BLANK. It's been so long since I'd seen him that I forgot his name. Seriously. I am so bad like that. I think everyone I've ever met needs a nametag to wear just for when they see me. It ain't personal. It's me. I am my mother's daughter in that way. I'm better with it than her but still... So I kept wanting to get out of there so I wouldn't have to introduce them. Heh.

Today I went to my parents' for the Super Bowl. And damn, if that wasn't super I don't know what is. I hate the Pats. Seriously hate'em. And Eli played so fiercely as did the defense. I loved how they kept getting to Brady. It was fucking awesome.

I'm trying to not do much thinking right now about finances as that is one thing that is keeping me awake. But it is now 4:30am. I fear that sleep is out of the question.

Currently listening to my The Smiths station on Pandora: Ceremony by New Order

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