There's a light... [ 2009-07-09, 3:01 a.m. ]

Another day...a little less drama. Actually, a lot less.

Work went fine. I met with my boss, kind of more casually since it was in my dept only a half hour before closing. But she and I talked a bit honestly about setting priorities and asking for help when I need it to be able to complete things.

A friend suggested that maybe my psychiatrist could prescribe a drug like Valium or the like for me to take when I'm having these panic attacks at work. She says she has Valium and takes a 1/2 of one whenever she is feeling out of control like that. It's a thought. I mean..I don't want to rely too much on something like that but if you could've felt what I was feeling yesterday and last week ...well, I think you could understand. Which is what I will bring up to my psychiatrist. I might need to get an appt sooner than the one scheduled in 3 months.

I went out to karaoke after work tonight. The new club is having it on Wednesdays. Not a lot of people there but still a few people I knew. And when there's a small crowd like that, people are quite supportive even though they don't know you.

I had several Malibu Rum and Diet Cokes and a beer. I was actually a bit tipsy which hasn't happened in a while. I sang "Love is a Battlefield" (Pat Benetar), "Over at the Frankenstein Place" (from Rocky Horror), "Breakdown" (Tom Petty), "Love Stinks" (J. Geils Band) and lastly, "Add it Up" (Violent Femmes). It was fun but I really need to bring somebody with me next time. I got a bit bored when I wasn't chatting with Jeff, my former club boss or the bartender. I actually got out my iPhone and updated my Facebook status a couple of times and took a picture of my drink and then my beer. One should NOT be doing that when they're supposed to be out having a good time.

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Ryan Adams