Life is unfair [ 2009-08-05, 2:46 a.m. ]

I'm still employed.

Finally had a meeting with my boss. It was going to be the one on one regular meeting like she was scheduled with other managers for the day. We sat down in the cafe and she starts off by going "So...what have you got for me?" I stopped and looked at her "'s been 30 days since ..." She opened her eyes wide and said "Oh, yes! Well, I am unprepared. Let me go upstairs and grab the IP and we'll go over it." I sat there a bit stunned about the fact that here I'd been stressed to the maximum for a month and she hadn't thought about it at all. I don't expect her to think about it constantly like I had been but to not even realize that it had been 30 days? A bit insulting. I mean, on July 1st she'd said "Straighten up or you're gone" in so many words.

We went over a couple of details. I said the right things. And here I am. I talked about this with my therapist and told her what I'm going to do. I'm going to figure out a good way to tell my boss how I feel about the fact that I'd been given this ultimatum but she'd not even given it another thought the rest of the month. It really is insulting and unfair. I won't be overly dramatic about it. I just think I want to clear the air about it.

To add to this, my body is kicking my ass. I spotted today even though I had my period less than two weeks ago. I'm guessing it's because of the stress.

My Aunt Carol died today. My mom went to see her this morning and by that time Carol had slipped into a coma. A short time later after she'd left the hospital my mom got a call from my cousin letting her know that Carol had passed away. The funeral is on Friday.

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Ryan Adams