MindFucker [ 2009-11-12, 2:14 a.m. ]

*COUGH* Lordy. I know I'm getting better because all the crap in my chest is breaking up. But that means I'm coughing more. Hard to get comfortable to sleep. Blah. I'm over this. Really, really over it.

I keep doing that thing in my head where I guess or just flat out believe what I think somebody is thinking. I hate how I mindfuck myself. It's completely crazy. And just lowers my self-esteem by leaps and bounds. You may realize that I'm talking about Charles here. I can't wait to see him at the end of next week. A second time of seeing him will do me some good in understanding him.

I've been having trouble paying my car payment because of the cost of going to the reunion and lapses in my judgment, as usual. I was on the phone for about an hour with my car insurance people and the car lending company yesterday. I did not have collision or comprehensive insurance on my car because of an oversight of my own. So, the lending company, to protect their interest, added the cost of a third party insurance company to my bill. And I've been having major trouble paying the total cost of it every month. Anyway, I'm trying to not stick my head in the sand about it and meet it head-on for once. I'm hoping by the end of the month to be caught up.

Speaking of money... In our family, specifically my parents and my middle sister, Mandy, we are too broke to buy presents. So we aren't doing that for Christmas. Just going to have some good food and fun times. We're all adults. We don't need presents. Though I love getting them like anybody. But I love giving them more. Yet that isn't gonna work this year. We'll just have to focus on other things to bring the fun. Like games and movies and food and food.

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