So..the holidays are almost over. I don't know when I will ever feel like I'm not too tired or depressed to fully appreciate them. It isn't that there weren't plenty of laughs and smiles. But really...my energy level was low because of work but also feeling like I was missing something.

I also realized that I have a lot of bitterness towards my father. And I need to just let that go. It's just hard to do. I'm not that religious but I think a bit of praying on this problem could help. Plus, talking to my therapist.

I didn't end up calling Brooks on Christmas day. I just didn't feel up to it. Which is sad. I think he would have enjoyed hearing from me.

New Year's Eve is my mom's birthday. We'll have a special dinner for her. I don't think I'm going anywhere. I have that day off and New Year's Day off. I think I'll just do some movie watching.

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