Crazy [ 2011-12-24, 3:25 a.m. ]

Oh,what a day. The day before Christmas Eve at the store was a nightmare.

But the day started well,though. I met up with my Russian boy when he was getting off work and I was about to clock in. I wanted to pay him back for working on my computers. And because he's so cute. I gave him a bottle of Silver Patron tequila. Because when I asked him what his favorite vodka was he told me Patron. Heh. I also gave him a big book about the Beatles since he's a big fan like me. His reaction to everything was very sweet. He was a bit overwhelmed, I think,by how well I knew him and how much I appreciated him. He said "Give me a hug!". We did and I just loved him bending down to hug me. The gets me.

Anyway,the rest of the day was utter crap because I made myself so stressed out by the end of the day. I think I need a slightly stronger dosage of my meds. I really do. The anxiety has gotten a bit much lately.

A little while ago I burst into tears. Over several things but mainly because my best friend moved away (Robyn) to Charleston and also about my feelings for Egor. I just feel a bit alone right now.

I'm off the next 3 days but in a way I almost wish I was working tomorrow just so I could see him. Crazy,huh? Yep.

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Ryan Adams