You must go buy it [ 2003-10-22, 10:30 p.m. ]

I'm thinking I might be getting the flu. Its not that I want to get it but I have this achy feeling. And that doesn't bode well. I got rather emotional earlier when I was watching "Friends". It was the one a couple seasons ago when Joey told Rachel that he was in love with her. I burst into tears for several reasons. The thought I might never hear a guy say that to me is one. Ok, the major one. It makes me sad and lonely to think that. Plus, not feeling well makes me feel even more alone. I want someone to take care of me. I can really understand why some people just marry for companionship. I don't think I could ever do that. But I understand it. I just wanted to have someone tuck an afghan around me and make me some dinner and cuddle down beside me to watch tv.

I don't mean to be so maudlin. Really I don't. I'm feeling a bit better now.

Missy called me yesterday and left a message asking if she could leave a few boxes of magazines at my house for a few weeks. Yesterday I was feeling rather anti-social and really didn't feel like seeing anyone at all. (Ok its no wonder I'm alone) But all is good now. She came by for a few minutes earlier this evening and we put about 4 boxes in the spare room. She's going to have a procedure done next week for her fibroids and she'll be out of commission for a week or two. After that I'm going to help her go through them and help her set up an eBay account.

Also yesterday Michael called me and left me a message (I had the phone on silent) saying he and Paco were going to the Mint Museum. The museum was having a showing of great masterpieces (Monet, Degas) and they were going to see it last nite. Tues. nite is free at the museum. I left him a message saying I wasn't feeling that great but if I felt better I would meet them there. Of course I didn't. Lazy ass. What the fuck is wrong with me? I know I was (am) on the rag but for crying out loud. Take a shower and go be with your old friend whom you never spend time with. For Christ's sake he called me and wanted to go somewhere. That doesn't happen too often. I'm such a putz. The next Tuesday I can go I'm going to call him and make him go again. I really love spending time with Michael. He's one of my oldest friends and this is our favorite time of year too. I have to be with him in the Fall/Winter. Do you have friends like that? Seasonal ones. Its weird I know.

Damn, Roger Clemens just pitched his last game. All the players and fans applauded him as he left the field and this is in Miami. Cool.

I'm so digging the new Twilight Singers. You must go buy it. You must go buy it. You must go buy it.

There. I'm done hypnotizing you. Off with ye. Wait wait..come back. I forgot to write about the weird dream I had yesterday. This was definitely one of the strangest ones yet. And I have some far out dreams, people. Well, first I woke up and threw my pillow down to the floor cause I thought I saw a spider on it. But then I realized it was part of another dream. That was a bad way to wake up, let me tell ya. Ok, the real dream. I dreamed that I had lost my memory. I'm in this house trying to recover my memories. There's gray tabby cat there and I realize this is where I live now and I don't understand how the cat is ok if I haven't been around to feed it. Then I know that someone else lives here. With me. I've recovered my past but not my immediate past. Someone comes into the house and this is the strange part. Its my dance teacher from college days. She's dressed up with a blonde wig and crinoline skirts. I know I'm not a lesbian but in my dream I know that I've been living with her. But then she takes off the wig and I realize its a man. I can't see who it is though in my dream. I'm crying that I can't stay here. That I have all these memories (showing him/her these pictures of my family) and that I have to be near my family. I can't be this far away from them. I scream that she/he knew who I really was but never helped me! I storm out of the house and am trying to get down the driveway past this woman who is yelling at me and grabbing my arm. Its the mother of the person I was living with. She's screaming that I'm messing up her son's life by leaving like this. I know that if I get across the street to this other house I'll leave these people behind. Finally at the end of my dream I reach the doorway of the house. Then I woke up. Freaky,huh.

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