No, I'm not depressed [ 2004-08-14, 3:01 a.m. ]

I don't know why I can't seem to make myself get to the movie theatre. I'm watching,on Lifetime Movie Network of all things, Before Sunrise. I loved this movie and I've been wanting to see the long awaited (at least by me) follow up to it, Before Sunset. I am such a lazy ass.

Anyway. I'm off this weekend which is cool. Except if the hurricane or rather tropical storm by that point maybe, comes close to Charlotte..its going to be storming in a few hours. My Mom and I have plans to go the used bookstore near me Saturday afternoon. I just hope the weather isn't too bad.

I know my last entry was a downer. And I'm not depressed or anything. But I'm starting to get that feeling of wanting to change my life. And its an uneasy feeling at first. Like I'm uncomfortable in my skin. Wanting to change. And not really my job is what I'm thinking about. Although that would be nice.

Its my clothes. My health suffers because of how crappy I eat and how little exercise I get outside of walking at work. My left foot was killing me tonight. Its still cramping up and hurts like shit.

I was watching What Not to Wear earlier. I would love to be nominated and spend $5000 on clothes. But the way I look right now...what's the fucking point? Plus, I can't even wear cool looking shoes cause my feet get all cramped in neat shoes. I hate that. I've always had a fetish for boots but for the past couple years I can barely spend any time in them without feeling doubled over in pain from taking a few steps. Stupid fucked up feet.


I'm really not depressed and I hate that I sound that way. At least it reads that way to me. I'm smiling at Ethan Hawke in this scene right now. I know he screwed around on Uma (what the hell was that about? Uma could convert me to the other team) but I really love him as an actor.

I bought off eBay last night the dvd of Unfaithful. I really love that movie. It was on HBO last night and it hypnotized me. I saw it when it first came out on dvd and I remember how much Richard Gere surprised me. Not to mention that Diane Lane is astounding in it.

Ever read Pamie? Well, you should.

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Ryan Adams