Rest in Peace [ 2008-01-22, 9:05 p.m. ]

First off, I'm so damn sad about Heath Ledger's death. My reaction when I saw the news was to cry and yell "What?! No!!". It hit me hard. So unexpected. Apparantly he had depression problems which I totally understand. Whether this was an accidental or intentional overdose is almost irrelevant. He wanted pain to go away. And now it is. Forever. I understand it but he did have a little girl to think about,too. She'll never have her daddy see her grow up. That will hurt her forever, too.

And now on to me. I feel lonely still. I feel like the only people thinking of me for my birthday are my family. I have to get people to go out with me for the day before (on Saturday night). Nobody is doing that for me. I really hate not having a real close best friend. Jim already knows about Saturday night but most likely has already forgotten. Cause I'm that important.

Work is ok. 3 more work days till my vacation starts. I just hope I don't spend the whole week (except on Monday when my sis and mom are coming over to help with my apartment) in my pajamas. One day is fine but I can't sink into that funk again. No matter how comforting it is. It's toxic.

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Ryan Adams