Oh,Jim [ 2011-07-05, 1:51 a.m. ]

Happy 4th of July!

Last night was the party at Jim's house. I wasn't sure about what to wear but I settled on my jeans and a black tank with a filmy black top over it and my sandals. I looked pretty decent, I guess. I looked up directions to his house which is sort of on the "wrong" side of town but the neighborhood was ok really. His house is a 2 story and fairly new. As I parked and got out of the car I had a moment of panic where I just wanted to leave. I kept thinking "What am I doing here?". But I pushed forward anyway. I went to the front door where there was a handwritten note saying "Come on in! We're in the back." So I opened the door and was in the living room. It was definitely Jim's house with the nice sound system and framed posters of comic book art and Pearl Jam concerts. I went through there and saw the back door where I could hear people talking. I took a deep breath and opened up the door.

I first saw a few strangers on the back porch who saw me and smiled and said hi. At first I didn't see Jim but then looked to my left where he was standing at the food table. I said hello and he gave me a nice hug and started introducing me to people while at the same time telling me he liked the color of my hair (it's a nice flinty auburn). I knew that since he was the host (and he's always made a good one) that I wouldn't monopolize his time so when I could he and I just chatted about my life, my work and whatnot.

All this time I am stealing glances at him and realizing just how much I missed him. The song lyric "My eyes adored you" comes to mind. 3 years seems to have changed nothing. Though I guess I am maybe a bit different.

One of his friends had brought that cornhole game and it was set up in the side yard. I watched sometimes and then somehow got invited to play though I warned Jim that I sucked. And then I was on Thomas' team. (Jim's best friend.See the archives of July 2007) I made some ok tosses and Thomas made much better ones so we won the first game. I was drinking cups of beer and when I was running out I managed to get one of the guys to run get me another. (I am a Princess)I also commented that I played better the more I drank. Which is pretty true for cornhole. I like to trash talk so the next guy that was Jim's team partner started trash talking to me while I trash talked to him. That was hilarious. That was one of my favorite parts of the party was playing cornhole. Though today my arm was a bit achy. I need to play that game more.

I talked to the other people at the party (I think there were about 30 people at one time) and eventually went inside. Went to the downstairs bathroom and when I came out Thomas was on the couch with one of the cornhole players in the chair next to him. Thomas asked if I wanted to smoke a bowl and how I could refuse that? I haven't smoke pot probably since the last time I saw Jim. This stuff was STRONG. And wonderful. God,I love pot. (See all of 2007 archives) There was much hilarity as usual after one smokes so that was another favorite moment.

Another one? Was Jim trying to get away from this drunk-ass girl he barely knows who kept trying to unsuccessfully flirt with him. At one point Jim extricated himself & rolled his eyes at me while I just snickered. I leaned over to him and said "That's what happens when you're the nicest person on Earth". He said "Oh, I don't know about that". Heh. Maybe not but I know full well that neediness craves his kind of nice attention. I was just glad I wasn't her. Thankfully,I don't know that I was ever quite as bad as her. Also,he and I were actually friends when I would try to be around him a bit too much.

It was around that time that I asked him for a tour of the house so I could get him away from her. He showed me around upstairs which was a really cool place too.

Sarah P., whom I used to always see at the karaoke bar, showed up at the party with her boyfriend and we chatted a lot. I've always liked her. She's easy to talk to and is very nice. I was so glad for somebody else that I knew to be there,too.

After a while, I sort of set back from the crowd because I was that kind of buzzed. I chatted briefly by phone with one of my FB friends,Nick,who lives in England. I started off by saying I was in hell and then prattled on from there. He tried to be supportive without being maudlin which was nice. But I pushed myself out of the blues and rejoined the party. There was some scuffle between the drunk needy girl (no,not me) and some other chick while I was outside. Why must people fight when they're drunk? Stupid. Poor Jim. But by then it was probably past 3am. Most people had gone. I was starting to taper off and went to sit at the top of the stairs where Jim called to me to make sure I was ok. I'm pretty fucking far from ok. --Pulp Fiction. Thank you. No, I didn't say that but toddled on downstairs and finally got up to leave around 3:45am. Sure, I was still tipsy but I drive just fine.

I asked Jim to walk me out to my car. We talked a bit about me having to give up my orange Kia. He gave me a good hug and thanked me for coming. I asked him about maybe getting coffee sometime soon so that's on the plate. I do NOT want him to drift out of my life again. I hate that.

My drive home was fine. I stopped to get McDonald's because that's what I crave when I've been drinking. And actually that's the best thing to keep me from being hungover. I texted him when I got home to let him know I got home safe which he had requested. I ate and then passed out without even washing my face or turning off the light in my bedroom. Today I was supposed to go in at 1pm. I forgot to set my alarm so I woke up at 12:18 and it takes me at least a half hour to get to work. But I somehow got there only 8 minutes late. I do indeed rock.

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