Its him not me [ 2004-10-07, 2:30 a.m. ]

I've put my resume up on!! I feel like I've actually made a step in the right direction. Who knows if it will really result in something I want but at least I'm trying. At least I'm doing that.

Today was an okay day. At first I didn't think it would be but it was so dead at work that I got things done. That's always a good feeling. One I don't get often enough.

Tomorrow I'm going with my Mom to shop for a new monitor for her computer. Plus, I will most likely do the usual clothes washing and dinner thing. I've decided to just shrug off my Dad's moods. Its his problem and I refuse to make it mine. Be gone, bad karma.

The next thing I need to do in my life is lose weight. God. I hate looking at pictures of myself. Michael emailed me a photo from last Saturday night and all I could do was cringe. Just 3 years ago I was trying to take better care of myself by eating less and doing a bit of exercise. But ever since I came back from Canada, its been one big slide into heiferland. I was thinking of that trip to Canada today and made myself shake it off. I really don't need to dwell on that whole thing. Its not fair to me. I don't know what happened to Jay to make him start ignoring me later on. Its him not me. Its him not me.

Its him not me. I'll believe it eventually.

Tomorrow, before going to my Mom's, I plan on going to the record store to sell some stuff. Which reminds me..I really should be burning some cds now. Oops. to do that and watch tonight's episode of Lost.

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