Hate to say I told you so [ 2005-04-03, 8:02 p.m. ]

Welcome to my nightmare. Ok..more like a bad dream. Of my own making. Which makes it worse. The only one I have to blame is me. Just me. Because I'm an idiot.

My checking account is screwed up because of my inability to balance a checkbook. Oh,wait. Not so much inability as much as not even bothering to do so. Argh. I hate myself for tra-la-laing along without even seeing what my balance is. So fucking stupid. It isn't anything I haven't done before, unfortunately.

So now I don't even have enough money in my checking acct. to pay the rent. And I owe my Mom money from the purchase of the computer so I really can't ask her for more money. Or rather I really don't want to. So I looked through all my cds and dvds and pulled out a bunch of stuff. I downloaded into my iTunes some songs from some of the cds so I feel okay about selling them. I just hope that the record store will buy them and give me a nice chunk of money. Because if they don't..I really don't know what else to do. Except maybe go to one of those money lending places. But their interest is so awful that I want to avoid that.

Yes, I know I bought a Ryan Adams ticket. I refuse to back out on that. I could always ask Christie for the money back and see if her husband will go with her. But for 1.)that's embarrasing and 2.)I don't want to.

I went to the flea market with my sister,Christy,yesterday. We had fun and there was a whole bunch of cool stuff there. I didn't buy anything and she didn't either but that was ok. We were there for about 3 hours. It was drizzling and windy most of the time but most of the flea market is in buildings and the rest is under big tents. Maybe we can go again in the summer. It will be hot but in the morning it won't be too bad.

We went to lunch afterwards and then headed back to my parents' house. She left around 4pm and I went home shortly after that. I was dog-tired. Not enough sleep,natch. But when I got home is when I double-checked my bank balance and immediately burst into tears. Then I pulled out the cds and dvds to sell. Then I watched some tv and fell asleep by midnight and woke up this morning at 8am. No,wait. That was really 9am because I hadn't set my clock forward. Was up for a while and fell asleep again for 5 hours.

I know one thing. I'm going to find a better paying job so I can feel better about my financial life. Plus,I'm going to install the Quicken software that I've had for a while but never used on my old computer.

And,no more buying of songs on iTunes for a while. Sigh.

But since I downloaded some of those songs from the cds I'm selling I now have over 3 hours in my iTunes library. That's something at least.

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