They've given you a number and taken away your name [ 2005-07-10, 3:21 a.m. ]

Howdy. Wow,I slept so well Friday night. I was asleep by 1:30am and didn't get up till almost noon. Ah. That was so nice.

Anywho. Tonight I went out with Michael. Actually it was Michael,Paco,Paul,Van and Peter. We went to a piano bar with some wonderfully cheesy piano playing. The guy was actually playing a keyboard that has all the sound effects on it. Most of what he played was Neil Diamond, the Carpenters and the Eagles.

I had a Cosmopolitan and two Strawberry Dacquiris. Very girly drinks I know but still since I rarely drink, I could feel the effects after just a few sips. I was just thinking a few minutes ago that after I drink I always remember why I rarely do. I kinda like the fuzzy headed feeling for a short while but then I realize that I'd rather be clear headed and not have a churny stomach. I'm old.

It isn't like I'll never drink again but I know that I'll never get intentionally drunk again. It just isn't worth it. I only got slightly tipsy tonight since I was drinking water as well and had eaten a good sized dinner beforehand. We left at midnight and thought about doing something after but I put the kibosh on it for me since I ended up spending $30. Yikes. But next Saturday night we're planning on going out dancing so that'll be fun.

I was thinking on the way home about how I'm going to pay back my mom and not be living hand to mouth between paychecks. Then a thought struck me. I'll be finished paying back my loan from my 401k,which I took out a year ago, by the end of this month. I'll take out a loan from that and do a payment plan of paying myself back from my paycheck in six months instead of the year that I did this past time. The idea really took the weight off my shoulders and now I can actually feel myself relaxing about the issue of money for real.

I know that after this past Wednesday and making my bankruptcy final, it hadn't really sunk in since I was still worrying a bit about paying back my mom in good time. This idea really really brightens my outlook. And don't worry that I'm hurting my 401k. I pay myself back with interest through my paycheck and they still take out the usual amount besides that for my regular payment into it.

Tomorrow I shall be lounging about the house. I may end up going to the video store to see if they have the second volume of the BBC series "MI-5". I watched Vol.1 last night and today and it was brilliant. Just as good as "Alias" but with more of a down to earth feel. I love spy stuff. I even have this book all about spy gear. I think in a former life I must've been a secret agent. That's me. Secret Agent Judith.

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Ryan Adams