Why does what I'm saying hurt you? [ 2006-03-13, 11:28 p.m. ]

Now Playing:Mojo Pin--Jeff Buckley

Holy crappy sleep patterns,Batman. Last night I went to sleep at 8pm because I was just dog-tired. Then I woke up at 1:30am. I really am a classic Insomniac. Have a hard getting to sleep and/or staying asleep. Anyway, I woke up and stayed awake for a few hours, fell asleep for about an hour because I knew that the headache I had would not go away otherwise, then I woke up at 6am to go to work. Blah.

I went to iTunes a couple days ago and bought the episode of The Daily Show that had Neil Young as a guest. I had missed it when it was on and was disppointed. So I got it and watched it and man, Neil is the best,ya know? I've seen him twice in concert and he just cooks. My favorite Neil album is Freedom though I, of course, love his earlier stuff as well. But that album just has some great lyrics. On The Daily Show he cracked me up by talking about his dog Carl and looking at the camera saying "If you're watching Carl" and he waved. Ha! I really hope his concert movie directed by Jonathan Demme comes to town. I will definitely go see it.

I'm so looking forward to the next two weeks at work being OVER. This stress is not only getting to me but everyone else on the management staff. It's bad. Our certification day is a week from Wednesday. Then the 27th is my yearly review. I just need it be over.

Now Playing:State Street Residential--Death Cab for Cutie

My boss had some kind of sit-down with Diane today and when I was finally able to get back into the office to finish my computer work, Diane was in the office still recovering from crying. I just sat down and looked over at her "Let me know if you want to talk about it." She knows that I've been there and she's comforted me before. She's less likely to talk about it though. So I didn't push it. I just tried to talk to her calmly about other things.

The weird thing is is that you'd think I hate my boss. I don't. I like her. She's pretty good at her job. But there are certain things I don't like and she could definitely improve upon. Mainly her tendency to make a person feel two inches high if you're in the wrong on something. This morning, she asked me about something I'd approved yesterday and questioned whether that was the right thing to do. I conceded her point and then went into the stacks where I quietly fumed. But that was the last negative thing she said to me all day. I know she doesn't hate me or anything. And if I had a thicker skin then I know she wouldn't be able to get to me like she does. I'm fairly tough sometimes but when it comes to being second guessed..then I doubt myself and get defensive. It's human, I know. But annoying just the same.

Case in point on her liking me: At the meeting this morning, Diane was bringing up a situation with one of our newspaper vendors who has gotten very behind on coming in for payment. We pay him out of the register. He had suggested that Home Office cut him a check for how far behind he is because another store had done that. While the others were discussing doing this, I'm sitting there thinking how much work that would involve for us to gather all that information and then to force HO to cut a check which is something they don't like to do. When Diane was finished, I said "Why is this our problem? He should come in much more often for payment if he wants to get caught up." My boss started to chuckling and patted my shoulder, liking that I was so blunt. I have no qualms with saying things like that. Speaking my mind has never been difficult. Sometimes it gets me into trouble but I know my boss doesn't mind that I share my point of view because it's usually one that protects the interest of the store.

And reading that last paragraph makes me sound very self-congratulatory. Oh,well. I think I take any positives at work and clutch them close to me. It's not so much that I fear being fired at this time but my confidence in everything ain't too high.

Anyway, I just need for these next couple of weeks to be over and done with. Then I can concentrate on the Franz Ferdinand/Death Cab concert..then the trip to Gulfport..and then in May, my surgery. Woo!

Now Playing:Breaking Us in Two-Joe Jackson

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