Whenever you're on my mind... [ 2007-01-30, 3:40 a.m. ]

I have five million things on my mind.

First off...boys. Naturally enough. I am thinking of three of them. And realllllly wishing, strangely enough, that I was working this week. Two guesses why..first one doesn't count. Drrrr... I have got to stop thinking about him. But I guess it's better than dreaming about one of the other boys, Matt to be specific. Yes, I dreamed about him last night. And let me tell you why. Remember how I said that I'd told him on Friday that I wanted him. Well, not only did I say that but I also told him that I'd posted his picture on my online diary and captioned it with The Devil. He claimed that he's not evil but I really beg to differ. Anyway, I started thinking yesterday about what I'd said and now I'm thinking that I might not have told him the fact that I'd also posted pictures of other people from that night when I took his picture. It wasn't just HIM that I was posting a picture of! I swear to God, I must've sounded like a stalker. Sheesh.

And the third boy I'm thinking of is Ken, owner of karaoke bar. I saw him at the concert last night. I had asked Christie to keep an eye out for him and described him. We were flat up against the stage right before the Lemonheads went on and she was looking around. She asked me "Is that him?" and kind've pointed. I looked back. He saw me and waved and I waved back. Unfortunately the crowd was too tight for him to come over to me. But I think the coquettish way may work best sometimes anyway.

Other things on my mind. I need to go join Curves either tomorrow or the next day because I am terrified of gaining back weight. It makes me want to throw away everything in my house but I know that wouldn't really work. I'd just feel deprived and resentful eventually. Sigh.

Another thing is that my dad has been giving me the hard sell on me buying a new car. He showed me a really good deal that one place is offering and I'm starting to consider it. I'd love a new car. Stop investing money and prayer into my 12 year old car. It's a big decision and making me queasy.

So, to sum up.... Boys. Joining Curves. Food. New car, maybe. And again...BOYS.

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Ryan Adams