I had my first appointment with my psychiatrist this morning. I drove there feeling a bit nervous in the tummy but sort of ok. Went in and filled out the usual paperwork thing. Read through a two week old Entertainment Weekly.

Then my doc came out to greet me and usher me back. Dr. W is kind of a rolly polly kind of guy. Reminded me of a slightly taller Mayor of Munchkin City. I say this with affection. Anyway, I sat on the couch and he asked me why I decided to come see him. Well, I slowly told him about the social anxiety, the frustrations, the virginity thing, and then my tendency to spiral down in a day when I think things are going alright. I also talked about my thoughts of suicide and how I almost did it back when I was 22. And that the main reason I don't do it now is because of my family and friends. I couldn't do that to them.

So he said he was going to see how P@xil works for me for my anxiety/depression. And also R0zerem for my tendency towards insomnia. (Maybe I'll have to change my diary name!) And he also recommended the book "The Anxiety Dise@se" by Sheehan. I've seen it on the shelf in the psychology section at work but haven't ever read it. I'll have to pick it up tomorrow.

In a minute I'll go back to the drug store to pick up my prescriptions. I know it takes about a couple weeks for the full effect of the P@xil to kick in. You start off the first week taking one a day, then the second week it's 2 a day, 3rd week is 3 a day then 4th week is 4 a day. I think it's supposed to help him determine what the right dosage for me will be since these will be 10mg pills.

I'm so glad this first appt. is out of the way. My next appt. with him will be in about a month and then I am probably going to see a regular therapist once he has my meds determined.

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