I can't stop myself. I can't stop thinking about Charles. I haven't felt that comfortable around a guy since Jim. And we know what happened there. But then I think..there is a difference. Charles doesn't have a g/f and he's closer in age to me. Plus, he has a bit more drive than Jim in his personality.

And then I stop and look at myself and think ...Why would he even think about me? Look at me. As nice as a person as Charles is, he's not going to see past my fatness. I mean, back when we would chat on the phone he said I was the coolest chick ever. Maybe he still thinks that..but coolness doesn't not always equal attraction.

Right before I got in the car to leave I stopped and said "Well, it was really great to finally meet you." and smiled and looked right at him. He smiled back and looked at me "It was great to meet you finally,too" or something like that.

And now I keep thinking about seeing him next. November 20th. Can't come soon enough. And I can't turn my mind off tonight. Stupid obsessive tendencies.

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